Monday, February 16, 2009

The Church is doomed.

The six scariest words I've read so far this year:
"As I taught seminary this semester" - from Dan "the insane Democrat."

If he's teaching seminary, we're doomed. There's no way someone that pathological can keep his insane political ramblings out of the seminary classroom. Combined with Wilifred's deceleration we need to embrace (and teach about) Obama as a prophet and that missionaries should stop having conservative political opinions because European elites like Obama . . .

Well, it's pretty clear we're really, truly, and royally frakked. Our kids (those that aren't driven away by the frothing at the mouth of Dan or the haughty condescension of Wilifred) are going to become Democrats in need of medication and then go into the missionary field preaching the gospel of Obama and the European elites.

Who needs the Savior of us all when you've got THE ONE who made our planet heal!

6 comments:

E said...

I once had a lunatic for a seminary teacher and I turned out OK.

Mister Correlation said...

Then I guess there is hope after all.

Except that "E" is a nickname for the drug ecstasy, so clearly your insane seminary teacher drove you to a life of drug use.

Either that, or you're Edna "E" Mode from The Incredibles, at which point I'll admit surprise a cartoon character attended seminary.

Anonymous2 said...

It all fits together. Devyn S. thinks we should "move past" Brigham Young. See Comment 15 at http://www.mormonmentality.org/2009/02/17/my-new-least-favorite-primary-song.htm. And since President Monson was a signatory to the Proclamation on the Family, I suspect he thinks we should "move past" Monson (and any other signatory to that document) as well.

I guess we should just skip right to the part where the Apostle Barack assumes his rightful place at the head of the Church.

Anonymous said...

Dan is truly one of the most bizarre and insane features of this loony bin we call the nacle. In most polite societies, he would have been locked up a long time ago.

Mister Correlation said...

I don't think should be locked up. Instead, he should be given medication and become one of those harmless crazy guys that wander around town and argue with stop signs. He's already halfway there - he just needs serious medication.

But the main point is we shouldn't allow crazy people to teach seminary.

Anonymous said...

But if you weren't crazy, why would you teach seminary? I for one, finally admire something about Dan the Deranged Democrat.