Friday, August 22, 2008

Note to Devyn S.

I think a sentiment like this means you won't have to worry very much, since the sealing only applies to those who make it to the Celestial Kingdom.

And if you don't want to hang out with those who make it to the Celestial Kingdom, well there are three other places you can go where families won't be together forever. It seems those places will be more to your liking.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Kevin Barney sets himself up as a light unto the benighted members of the church

Kevin Barney's latest, correlated into one sentence. "I'm Smarter, more educated, and all around a better person than the majority of people who actually keep the commandments and believe what the church teaches."

Don't believe me? Think it's unfair? Then I'll use Barney's own words. His thesis boils down to this one sentence: "my belief is more nuanced and complicated than the average orthodox member’s belief."

The average, obedient, hard-working, believing member is nothing (NOTHING, I tell you) compared to Barney's amazing awesomeness.

Just keep that in mind. Keep patting yourself on the back on how classy you are, Kevin.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Kaimi at the Final Judgment.

God: What part of "no tea" don't you understand?

Kaimi: But Green Tea is to Black Tea like grape juice is to wine. And grape juice is okay.

God: When I say no tea, I mean no tea.

Kaimi: But what about chamomile tea?

God: There's no tea there, so it's not tea.

Kaimi: But what about nuance? Things aren't always so clear cut. You said "hot drinks" - so Iced Green Tea was fine.

God: When I had my servants say "no tea" - I meant "no tea." I am allowed to clarify the meaning of scripture through the pronouncements of the prophets.

Kaimi: But it's so obvious that things aren't clear cut and black and white when it comes to tea.

God: Damned lawyers. And I mean that in the most literal sense. Enjoy your stay in hell, Kaimi.

My comment to Kaimi: No tea means no tea, not "here's why I'm more clever than God."

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Mark Brown proposes shutting down Bloggernacle

But instead, he settles for lots of in-jokes and general silliness.

Notice how the worst offenders (the ones whose obsessions show they ignore the Maxwell quote *cough*MargaretYoungSteveEvans*cough*) make the silliest comments. The truth hurts, so they attempt to laugh it away.

Too bad. Mark had a good point, but then, unlike Jamie Huston, he's not a prophet.