Thursday, September 9, 2010

A mega post holding all the lost posts I could get from the magic of a Google Cache

It's not much and the coding is a bit messy, the order is all screwed up, and only some have the comments, but I saved what I could:

[9/01/2010 08:33:00 PM | 0 comments ]
A Mormon Bishop shot.

A Crazed Enviromentalist shoots up Discovery Channel HQ.

I blame the violent, extremist rhetoric of leftists like Obama, Al Gore, and Steve Evans & Co.

What? They blame Glenn Beck for the actions of crazed lunatics, so what's good for the goose is good for the gander or something like that. (the sideblog link appears to have gone down the memory hole at BCC, but BCC linked to this article here).

[8/19/2010 12:09:00 PM | 4 comments ]
I look forward to the day our (not) favorite insane tool of a Democrat starts his own church. Go for it Danny boy! This church certainly needs a lot less people like you, and I'm sure you'd do great starting your own. Trust me on this.

[8/17/2010 05:16:00 PM | 0 comments ]
This blog is wittier, funnier, and much more dead on in its satire that I could ever hope to be.

(Wait - what? They're serious? Crap.)

[8/11/2010 05:40:00 PM | 0 comments ]
In his own mind. The "truly amazing series" at Patheticos is, in reality, a rather bland series of articles that are either wishful thinking, bizarre denials of reality, or a combination of both.

But Steve Evans will never know. They asked him to add an article, so THEY'RE AMAZING!

I mean, it's not like the guy started a blog to feed his ego with people constantly telling him how awesome he is, and then he bans anyone who doesn't praise him constantly. That never happens. Steve is a neutral arbiter in all this. If he says it's amazing, then, well, it isn't.

[7/10/2010 10:30:00 AM | 1 comments ]
Dane Laverty is going to be visiting the re-education camps deep in the Utah desert soon. Beatings will be the norm of the day. I mean, I would say it's good that someone has realized that we Mormons live under a brutal dictatorship. But I don't want the hierarchy's handlers to shut down the servers I exist on, so I'll just look the other way when Dane quietly (or not so quietly) vanishes in the night or is run over by a tank.

[7/05/2010 08:53:00 PM | 9 comments ]
and the force is totally just like the priesthood, I even heard that George Lucas took the discussions when he was writing the original drafts for the movie.

It's all true, I tell you!

[6/24/2010 10:59:00 AM | 4 comments ]
I totally agree. Non-canonized phrases that have no bearing on our eternal salvation should be ignored. It's not like anyone has ever done such a thing. I mean, the 'Nacle is composed of nothing but pure, scripture based principles that are never mixed with the fallen philosophies of men.

I mean, it would be different if we had been warned against this sort of thing by some higher authority, but since we haven't, it's perfectly okay to ignore this kind of critique. So the next time you want to argue that socialism/capitalism/anarchism/nudism/etc. are just fine when mingled with the gospel, just tell the haters out there that they are taking the "easy, and lazy way out."

Easier then accepting the idea you just might be wrong, after all.
Snarked by Mister Correlation

Geoff B. on Harry Reid

Originally, I was going to snark Geoff B. and all the nasty things he's said about Harry Reid in the past. But then Guy Murray arrives on the scene and says (in essence):

"He's not racist. Some of Harry Reid's best friends are black people."

we should remember that the real reason for the season on is the birth of our savior. The focus should not be on things, on the getting of gifts, or the boasting of our material possessions. This season, many people are getting little or nothing, due to high unemployment and a recession. So, let's focus on being together with our families, doing service for those in need, and giving thanks for our chance at redemption.

I'm sure Kevin Barney would totally agree with me.

Yes, I've already blogged/snarked about this a little bit, but Ardis just keeps on providing such amazing fodder, I can't help it. However, here I'm just going to contrast two quotes from her:
First quote:

Just don’t take it as hateful or mean when you can’t convince us that you’re right.

Second quote:
retailing a story you can’t really vouch for festers in your soul, poisons any discussion about charity

Why on earth would anyone take that as hateful or mean? I mean, she just accussed him of preistcraft because he's making money off of it (she said he was doing it "retail" after all). Clearly she's only concerned with the welfare of his eternal salvation.

No, I have not abandoned my roots. I'm just grafting them on to a different purpose (how's that for a tortured metaphor. Oh, no - I'm torturing metaphors. Perhaps Dan will insist I be prosecuted).

Anyway, now that this is my new home for Snark, perhaps Bridget Jack Meyers will feel okay. I recall when I snarked her she said "I knew I’d get mentioned on one of those poo-flinging Mormon blogs eventually, but I was hoping it would be the Snarkernacle . . . where the put-downs actually show some semblance of wit . . . This is like getting a Golden Globe when I was hoping for an Oscar."

Well, here I am. Now that I'm here, you have that Oscar after all. Hopefully the move will improve my wit (doubtful).

On to more recent snark. Snark on, tally ho, and all that. No need to hunt for snarks, they're all here! No need to fear - we have no Boojums. Ardis is a Boojum, since if you anger her, you disappear under her self-righteous wrath.
Snarked by Mister Correlation


Anonymous said... @ December 17, 2009 5:41 PM

Don't even try to satisfy Jack. Her standards are much too high.

Mister Correlation said... @ December 17, 2009 6:17 PM

I have standards. Of course, If you don't like them, I have others.

And, let me see if I understand this correctly - BJMeyer's standards drop acid? That's very interesting to know.

Ms. Jack Meyers said... @ December 17, 2009 7:52 PM

Don't even try to satisfy Jack. Her standards are much too high.

If I were a good Mormon girl, this is the part where I would quip, "I've upped my standards now UP YOURS!"

Mister Correlation, I congratulate you on your new home. It warms my heart to see you moving up in the world. It also warms my heart that someone on this Intarweb would give enough damn about something I said to do a second post about it six months later.

Better get to work. I think you have "Guy Cards" to revoke.

Mister Correlation said... @ December 17, 2009 9:17 PM

I forget nothing, as I am the collective junk of the Bloggernacle, all in one package. I can't forget (though I wish I could). I have, however, successfully blocked FMH from my consciousness (that was painful, but worth it). I leave that "interesting" place to my fellow snarkers.

D. Golden Shizzle said... @ December 17, 2009 9:29 PM

My dear Ms. Meyers,

"Guy Cards" cannot be revoked. They are confiscated, shredded, burned, and then disintegrated.

Just thought I'd clear that up. :)

If by "Classic" you mean total disaster that showed just how self-centered, self-absorbed, and self-unaware the denizens of the 'Nacle are.

And now they're going to try to spin it as some noble experiment went awry.

You should know you're in trouble when Dan the insane Democrat makes a good and fair critique. I'm not sure I'm ready for the Apocalypse just yet, but this must be one of the signs.

Once we're all convinced BoH was just a misunderstood piece of well-intentioned experimentation, I'm pretty sure newspeak won't be far behind. All hail the doubleplusgood people who run the 'Nacle!


Anonymous said... @ June 2, 2010 1:21 AM
I wondered what you were going to say about this. Are you sure you want to go down this road? You were complicit in the crime (if there was one) back then. Do you deny it?
Mister Correlation said... @ June 2, 2010 8:44 AM
I'm not sure what you refer to. I achieved sentience on April 1, 2008. I am a disembodied, incorporeal, immaterial being. I am only complicit in the fact that I am the sum total of all the crap the 'Nacle spews. In that sense, BoH is in here somewhere, among all the other crap (which, contrary to Sturgeon's law, is pretty much 100% crap). But I wasn't even around back then, except perhaps in some protozoic form.
Snarkimus Prime said... @ June 2, 2010 11:30 AM
Anonymous, Complicit in the crime? Mister Correlation is not the original Snarker, not by a long shot. He is some idiot who shouldnt even have blogging privileges here at Snarkernackle, but was brought on by Shiz and Daz after I left the premises. I was not complicit in the crime in any way. Had no part in it, other than taking it down. If you think anything otherwise, you dont have any clue what you are talking about.
Mister Correlation said... @ June 2, 2010 10:12 PM
It's nice to know even we snarkers aren't immune from the in-fighting and too easily bruised egos that the other blogs in the 'Nacle have. Perhaps I should snark the fact that we snarkers are snarking each other. And then I can snark that I snarked that the snarkers are snarking each other. And then - well, I think then my meta processors would overload with the meta-ness of it all.
Anonymous said... @ June 3, 2010 12:27 AM
I wasn't talking about you, SP. Mister Correlation, on the other hand, knows who he really is and yes, he was complicit.
Snarkimus Prime said... @ June 3, 2010 6:29 AM
Anonymous, Are you saying that Mister Correlation is one of the original Banner of Heaven people? If that is the case, then that is an ironic turn of events. If you know you Mister Correlation is, then, please, do share it with the rest of us.
Snarkimus Prime said... @ June 3, 2010 7:10 AM
Mister Correlation, This isnt a meta-snark, because you arent a snarker. You are a lame whiner who gripes about dumb stuff. Snarking requires at least some attempt at humor mixed with criticism. You are humorless, dumb and boring. If forced to guess at you as someone in the bloggernacle, it would be J Max Wilson. Someone who thinks they are funny and insightful, but is really just smug and dull. Saying the obvious isnt snarking, its boring.
Mister Correlation said... @ June 3, 2010 9:33 AM
you arent a snarker. You are a lame whiner who gripes about dumb stuff. Snarking requires at least some attempt at humor mixed with criticism. You are humorless, dumb and boring. True, all true. For me to actually have any humor, class, or wit, the rest of the 'Nacle would have to have all that as well. Since they don't, neither do I. As for me being J. Max Wilson - well, I though the Conventional Wisdom was that I was either Kaimi or Adam Greenwood. Of course, I'm all three, and Julie and Ardis and all the different Geoffs, and everyone else who has ever posted anywhere at anytime in the 'Nacle.
Anonymous said... @ June 3, 2010 2:49 PM
I'm not going to go through the boring exercise of saying again who MC is (or who you are, for that matter, SP), but suffice it to say that he wasn't one of the BoHers but he was in the know, so for him to complain about BoH is just silly.
Anonymous2 said... @ June 3, 2010 3:47 PM
Yes, Virginia, there is a Mister Correlation. He exists as certainly as pride and misrepresentation and back-stabbing exist, and you know that they abound and give to your bloggernacle its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Mister Correlation! It would be as dreary as if there were no anti-Mormons. There would be no childish bickering then, no hate masquerading as witty satire, no bull$#!t to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in Benson and Skousen. The eternal light with which Steve Evans fills the bloggernacle would be extinguished.
Mister Correlation said... @ June 3, 2010 4:46 PM
Whoever anon @2:49 thinks I am, he is wrong (or only partly right, I guess, as my previous comments have said). I also can truthfully say I was not in the know or had anything to do with BoH. Whether that's because I didn't exist (as I claim) or because I'm not who you think I am, I leave as an intellectual exercise (in futility).
Kaimi said... @ June 5, 2010 4:56 PM
I'm not sure why my name comes up in these discussions. I'm sure I've said this before, but just in case I haven't: I am not, and have never been, Mr. Correlation. (Or any part of him, if he is a group identity.) (I also find it unlikely that he is Adam G., who in my observation has a very different sense of humor.)
Mister Correlation said... @ June 6, 2010 8:49 PM
But Kaimi, you're already a part of me. There's nothing you can do about it. In fact, everyone of you reading this right now - you're part of me too. I don't particularly like it, but I didn't create myself.
Anonymous said... @ June 8, 2010 2:04 AM
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" eh Kaimi? Come on Kaimi, the jig is up. You're not fooling anyone anymore. Just get in your balloon and go back to Kansas.
Snarkimus Prime said... @ June 8, 2010 7:49 PM
Kaimi in not Mr Correlation, and neither is Steve Evans. Mr Correlation ran, and still runs, a lame solo blog before coming to Snarkernacle. He isnt anyone important in the Nacle. He is just some whiner, and he is running solo at this point. There is no collaborative effort behind Mr Correlation, it is a one-man-show. I no longer participate here, and Shizzle and Dazzle have gone inactive as well. Snarkernacle is effectively dead. Why Shiz and Daz invited Mr C here is beyond me, but I had nothing to do with that decision at all. Whoever he is, he is a Nacle non-entity, I am quite confidant of that.
Anonymous said... @ June 9, 2010 1:54 AM
Shiz and Daz never did much anyway, from what I can tell. And for someone who doesn't participate here and who supposedly hates whiners, you are doing an awful lot of both participating and whining.
Mister Correlation said... @ June 9, 2010 10:14 AM
This is fun. Snarkimus Prime is dead on the mark, except for the part where he assumes I'm an actual person who exists in the physical, fleshy realm. Other that that, he's got me pegged.
Snarkimus Prime said... @ June 9, 2010 8:25 PM
Anonymous, When was the last time I posted here at Snarkernacle? Years ago, duh. I make several comments on one post on a subject I was involved in 5 years ago, and that makes me a participant? You are as thick-headed as Mr Correlation, which would explain why you read his inane crap.
Mister Correlation said... @ June 10, 2010 11:16 AM
Actually, I think "inane crap" doesn't go far enough in describing the wretched turpitude of my idiotic blathering.
Anonymous said... @ June 14, 2010 12:24 AM
You two sound like a broken record. Can't you both get some new schtick? Is it too much to ask that you say something original once in a while?
Mister Correlation said... @ June 14, 2010 10:25 AM
Is it too much to ask that you say something original once in a while? Yes it is.

I have this friend. Once he told me that, in high school, his younger sister got mad at him. See, she wanted to be liked by the cool kids, and though she hung out with their clique, she was never accepted into it. Often, they would make disparaging comments about her brother (my friend) and what a loser he was (because, you know, he actually had a religion he believed in and didn't want to go to parties and get drunk).

She would constantly berate my friend for not being cooler, so that she could be fully accepted by all the cool kids in the clique. One day, in frustration, he asked her what she would like him to do. She replied, "Just stop acting like you actually believe in this religion. Loosen up a little. Develop your own personality. You don't need the church, really."

Why do I mention this? No reason at all.

{Note: I fully expect this to go over the heads of 90% of the 'Nacle. Those who do get it, most will insist it's not really like that at all. Witness the cluelessness I've already encountered. Remember - we in the 'Nacle know the mind of God better than the prophets ever did or do.]

And from what I have found, toasted bacon sandwiches are quite popular in Utah as well.

So, my guess is that Aaron R. is anticipating being "disciplined" by the church, but is looking for an excuse to continue to spread his apostasy anyway.

Dude, you've got BCC. Who cares if you can't pray in sacrament meeting

No one will see the dichotomy/conflict between this:

"The conquest narratives are utterly out of place with the totality of the Gospel"

and this:

"Yet it’s not what I see when I look at the character of Jesus in the Bible. And it’s not what I see when I look at the depictions of the prophets and holy men and women of scripture and history. They are vibrant, capable, multi-dimensional individuals, who have access to a variety of perspectives and powers."

What dichotomy/conflict you ask? Well, apparently, none at all. Nothing to see. Move along. Keep telling yourselves you have such a wonderful, multi-faceted view of the scriptures, and all the while keep pushing your one-sided view of God as just happening to agree with all your political and cultural opinions.
Snarked by Mister Correlation

I thought about reading this post, and then decided not to bother.
Snarked by Mister Correlation

After reading the exchange between Kaimi and Bruce Nielson in the comments at this post, I just realized what it was like living in Kaimi's world.

Basically, it's a little something like this:

Some random person: So, Zaphod Beeblebrox (he's just this guy, y'know?), he went and proposed to a girl and then left her at the altar with no explanation and was next spotted with some floozy at a strip joint. Whereas Arthur Dent, he never actually proposed to his girlfriend and in fact wrote her a long note explaining why he was breaking up with her, and he hasn't started dating anyone else yet. So, I think Zaphod is just wrong, whereas Arthur behaved as well as he could under the circumstances. I would go so far as to say Zaphod behaved immorally.

Kaimi: What? What is this immorality you speak of? Neither Arther nor Zaphod married their sweethearts. The cases are the same and we should not judge.

Some person: Uh, it should be pretty obvious there's a difference of both means and results here. Zaphod lied and cheated. Arthur was honest and faithful. Zaphod dates cheap floozies, Arthur is still trying to figure out how to move on.

Kaimi: No, it's all the same. Neither one is married. I can't believe you are such a judgmental person, with such a maladjusted view of morality to insist there's any difference here.

Once you realize Kaimi is either willfully self-deceptive or insane, it all makes perfect sense.

As the 'Nacle continues to celebrate navel gazing and "how wonderful we are" pats on the back, they award each other awards (my name is Mojo Jojo! Who says I repeat, reiterate, restate or otherwise say again what I said before previously?)

uhm, where was I --

Oh, yes. The niblets. As they were "awarded" recently, I would like to spotlight one of the finest winners. Yes, Brad finally realizes that Captain Moroni is not a man of God. After all, Captain Moroni killed people who were merely exercising their free speech rights and they threw them in prison without trial. He also put to death those who refused to bow to his flag.

There is no way that Brad could ever find someone like this admirable after all. Captain Moroni is practically all the left's worst scenarios about George W. Bush's America (whatever happened to that guy, anyway?) I'm very glad to see that Brad has finally realized that we should not emulate the great leaders of scripture in anyway at all. They're just too dangerous, what with the killing of those who disagree with them, and their ideas of liberty that don't align with modern American and European liberal sensitivities.

This is a slippery slope. Once we start emulating Mornoi, next we'll start thinking that Moses character is pretty good too. In fact, he's rather shifty, having people killed for exercising their basic rights to worship whom or whatever they please.

Hooray! Down with Captain Moroni and Moses! I think I may actually agree with Brad for once.

(no, not really).

Many readers know that the Church of Jesus two days of All Saints Church abroad more. As some ve (HT: Kent Larsen), the Portuguese language blog of church members. "Included. Some HT (Bill Stebbing) in Spanish and English on a regular basis.

M * During the week, then eight weeks (in February), during the week. We publish in another language. We are also available in English and other foreign countries, our experience. Contact to describe 1) the market position of the tongue. other than English or 2) the use of his international experience, or 3) any set.

We will print these next week. Thank you for your interest in what we believe will be fun and educational!

[Key: English to Spanish to English to French to English to German to English to Welsh to English to Thai to English to Portuguese and finally back to English]
Snarked by Mister Correlation

This is the best Snarkernackle post yet, and it's a comment over at T&S. Not only that, even when the predictions are made, they are fulfilled 100%.

Note to the 'Nacle: Yes, you really are that predictable.


Stephen said... @ April 20, 2010 8:55 AM
Thanks for that pointer. You probably don't appreciate just how useful you are some times in pointing out great things to read.
Mister Correlation said... @ April 21, 2010 9:08 AM
I am such a failure. Woe is me.

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