Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ask Mr. Screwtape! 7/3

Dear Mr. Screwtape,

The main problem I have with these Bloggernacle types, is that despite their grumping, whining, and complaining, they are all quite dedicated to the *shudder* true Church. They may disagree with the leaders, but in the end, they are committed more to the teachings of our great Enemy than any of the secular, worldly ideas I've managed to get them interested in. How do I break through this?


Dear Wumpawumpauwumpadoo,

It's easy. You have to dilute their commitment to the bad news of the Gospel by adding to it. These Bloggernacle types love to "add" to their knowledge. The phrase "further light and knowledge" confuses many of them to think that all knowledge automatically equals light.

As I told my dearly delicious nephew Wormwood once:

What we want . . . is to keep them in the state of mind I call "Christianity And". You know — Christianity and the Crisis, Christianity and the New Psychology, Christianity and the New Order, Christianity and Faith Healing, Christianity and Psychical Research, Christianity and Vegetarianism, Christianity and Spelling Reform. If they must be Christians let them at least be Christians with a difference. Substitute for the faith itself some Fashion with a Christian colouring.
Therefore, take their commitment to Mormonism, and get them to mix it up with some other thing. Don't try to replace Mormonism with some new thing - you'll usually lose on that one. Instead, get them to mix Mormonism with Marxism, or Constitutional Law, or Blind Patriotism, or Soft Socialism, or Goth Culture, or Catholicism, or Transcendentalism, or Science Fiction, or
Feminism, or Self-Righteous Radicalism, or - well, you get the idea.

Nearly all the above examples serve well, to varying degrees. Make sure they confuse some other principle as such an integral part of their religion that it's more important than any other element. Then, let them continue on as "Mormon feminists" or "Mormon socialists" or "Mormon patriots" rather than merely "Mormons" and watch the slowly verge off the narrow path onto the broad one.

Sincerely yours,

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